The Sox hold the keys...(no...not to the closet...)

This post probably has you asking a few questions before you read it.

Why is Terp marking a post with a picture of two guys kissing? Answer: For Dramatic effect.

Why is Terp writing about the White Sox? Is he high? Answer: At last check, no. But don't rule it out.

Why should I care about this team? Don't they suck? Answer: Yes, they do. But they also hold the keys to the American League Title.

That statement of course raises the question, How can a team that is only a game and a half ahead of the ROYALS in the Central have any bearing on teams that could actually win the AL? *Cough*Detroit*Cough*

It all has to do with history. Which is something Chicago had a bit of up until this year. Remember (if you can...I personally blocked the following memory and had to look it up) that the Sox won the World Series only two years ago. And last year they won over 90 games, though they failed to reach the playoffs because Detroit and Minnesota were so awesome. I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but baseball teams that have consecutive years like that have talent on their team. And this year's team contains most of those players who won it all in 2005.

I have no explanation as to why the Sox suck so majestically. Neither does Ken Williams. The difference between me and Kenny is that I can make fun of the Sox's problems, but he has to fix them. Comes with being the General Manager. And Ken has put an ad in the paper, stuck the sign in the yard, and is advertising that it's time for a yard sale outside of old Comiskey.

Normally a team in full scale sell mode in late June is nothing to be worried about. But for Tigers fans, this particular situation should be the cause for some concern. Because though it may be hard to believe, players like Mark Buehrle, Jon Garland, Jermaine Dye, and others still have some talent; and could prove valuable to the right contending team.

If any of those players are dealt to a team such as the Red Sox, Yankees, Angels, or even within the division to the Indians, that could spell some serious trouble for my beloved Tiggies.

As much fun as this year has been mercilessly heckling transplanted White Sox fans about their disaster of a season, Chicago could still indirectly bring down Detroit. Typical Chicago...always gunning for us.

Let's just hope Ozzie Guillen "loves" his players too much to let them go.

In The Cage with Mean Gene

Ever wonder how the Tigers got so good so fast?

Some would say it was due to the growth of Magglio Ordonez's Sampson-esque locks, which have made him impervious to four seam fastballs and freaky knee injuries. Others contend we owe our success to Jim Leyland, and his superhuman ability to smoke 10,000 cigarettes a day and scare any potential cancer out of his body with a profanity-laced tirade. Or it could be the salesmanship of Dave Dombrowski, who recently was seen outside of Comerica Park selling a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves.

While all these factors have certainly contributed to the Tigers success, their impact is mild when matched up against the ultimate motivator: Gene Lamont.

Why Gene, you ask? I admit, it slipped under my radar for a while too. But late last season, while covering a game for FOX 17 with my buddy Nate, we discovered the reason the Detroit Tigers made such a dramatic turnaround: The Gene Lamont Cage of Fear.

It's been an urban legend for some time now, whispered among media members as they stand in line to enter the clubhouse after the game; articulated in the worried glances of the janitorial staff as they pass the closet marked Team Officials ONLY. I didn't believe it myself, until last season when Nate and I heard the muffled screams of someone being tortured in The Cage. We were hurried out of the clubhouse by Tigers staff, but there was no denying that we had heard something horrible happening.

I sought an explanation from a longtime sports writer who was privy to information regarding team operations. He agreed to divulge the story to me, on the condition that I never reveal his name; which would cause him to be subjected to The Cage for revealing its existence.

As the story goes, shortly after Jim Leyland's hire, he met with Dave Dombrowski to discuss filling out his new staff. He submitted a list of names, one of them being Lamont, a former staff member of Leyland's Pittsburgh Pirates. Dombrowski was hesitant to allow Lamont to join the staff, since he had been exiled to managing in Triple-A for Philadelphia. Word around the league had said Lamont had become so grizzly, so salty, that major league players were too afraid to be around him on a daily basis. In order to satisfy their million-dollar investments, the Phillies sent Lamont to Triple-A to scare the kids (as if the prospect of playing for Philadelphia wasn't scary enough).

But as word has it, Leyland would not budge from his demand for Lamont, assuring Dombrowski that his own saltiness could overcome the grizzliness of Mean Gene. But Dombrowski wanted more. He wanted protection for the assets he had accumulated. And so the Cage of Fear was built; both as a storage facility for Lamont and as a punishment for players who did not perform up to the club's standards.

Locking a player in the Cage with the grizzled Lamont turned out to be such an effective punishment for bad behavior, Leyland began using it as a motivator for better play. After a lackluster home loss early last year, Leyland flipped out in his post game press conference, a proceeded to lock three players in the Cage with Lamont and stored them in the cargo area for the entire flight to Oakland. The team proceeded to win the series with the A's and never again turned in a lackluster performance the rest of the season. Chris Shelton was so terrified, he hit 11 home runs to start the season to avoid being locked in the Cage; until the pressure became so mentally straining that he cracked, and had to be heavily medicated and sent to Toledo, where he is still recovering.

This year, Gary Sheffield was the beneficiary of time spent in the Cage. Sheff struggled mightily for a month as he attempted to adjust to his new DH role. Because of his previous relationship with Gary, Leyland held off on the Cage; until Sheff told the media that if the fans booed him more often, maybe he'd produce better. After reading the comments, Leyland could be heard screaming, "What the hell is wrong with you? **** the fans!!! I'll give you some motivation!!! Get in that ****-ing Cage!!!" And Sheffield has been on a tear ever since.

So Tigers fans, as you head to Comerica this summer to sport your colors, buy some beers, and cheer for the players; give a tip of your hat to Gene Lamont as he growls at third base. For without his help, the Tigers would still be stuck in the cellar.

Who's your Tiger?....Mine is Mean Gene.

Lebron is COOOOOOLLLLLDDDD BLLLLOOOOODDDDEEEEDDDDDD

I've had my heart ripped out plenty of times.

Comes with being a Lions fan.

But it never gets any easier, and last night was no different.

Lebron James IS KILLING ME!!!

Actually he's really killing my colleague Huge, but that's a whole nother story. Lebron's most recent domination has sent his career to a entirely new level. That endless ceiling scouts were talking about? Well, that roof got blown off last night. There's no ceiling, period. The sky's the limit for this kid.

Think about it, one of the best defensive teams in the NBA, who has played this guy multiple times per year for the last couple years, cannot stop him AT ALL down the stretch despite every person in the entire universe knowing that Lebron is going to shoot the ball. The one time the Pistons did double team, Anderson Varejao was so surprised that he dropped the ball and the shot clock expired. The entire Cleveland team, including the 4 other guys on the floor, just sat back and watched Lebron turn in one of the great clutch playoff performances of all time.

Now...what the heck is Detroit supposed to do? If you're feeling a case of deja vu, it's because they were in the same boat last year against this team. But back then the Pistons were playing poorly, and Lebron was still discovering how to win in the playoffs. Well, that stage is now over, and Detroit is going to have to make some serious adjustments if they want to get a win in what will be an absolutely insane atmosphere on Saturday night. Double teams, zone defense, maybe put in a call to Tanya Harding and see if she knows someone who could help. Right now I think Flip is up for suggestions.

I'm saying this now, last night was a shifting point when it comes to the power struggle in the Eastern Conference. Teams have had a couple years, and they've figured Detroit out. Lebron now knows how to win and he certainly has that killer instinct. Cleveland will upgrade King James' supporting cast (there's nowhere to go but up), and Dwayne Wade still is a great player. Success next year is far from certain, even if the Pistons are able to pull these next games out of their hat.

And that is one big IF.