Kobe wets the bed that he made...

Boohoo. Poor Kobe.

It took the Black Mamba three years, but he finally realized what we already knew:

He's retarded.

Seriously, you've won three championships. You have the most dominant center to ever play the game at your side. One of the winning-est coaches in NBA history is manning the ship. You have a chance to win more championships and cement your legacy as one of the greatest players to play the game.

And you throw it all away.

For what? To be, "THE MAN"?!?!?

So....how's that working out...?

Ok, enough with the single-line sentences, but seriously, why should we feel sorry for Kobe? So he's stuck with an inept GM...so is half the league. So he has a weak supporting cast...maybe he and Lebron can commiserate together after the Cavs get ousted from the Junior Varsity Eastern Conference. Big deal. This is what Kobe wanted, right? Well...he wanted to keep winning championships, but only if he could be the star. And now he's the star...just without the substance. Isn't that what LA is all about?

The Lakers cannot trade Kobe, so all you folks out there who believe this is the beginning of his end in Tinseltown need to settle down. Los Angeles cannot justify charging what they do for tickets without one of the NBA's marquee stars in town. If they do trade Kobe, they run the risk of turning into the Golden State Warriors; where the celebrities only show up once you become good again. They have to build around him.

Kobe knows this, and that's why he wants Jerry West back. Say what you want about Jerry, but he was the architect behind those Lakers championship teams, and he was a ping-pong ball shy of nabbing Lebron James and saving Memphis (you can't blame The Icon for the Otis Thorpe trade...whoever did that one was clearly Canadian). So Kobe figures Jerry can work his magic again. But Jerry handpicked Mitch Kupchak to replace him, and I doubt a classy dude like Mr. West will stab his boy in the back. Especially at age 70, and with the Lakers being a couple years away from being contenders even with some changes to their current roster.

So sorry, Kobe, but you had your chance. And you let your ego blow it. Now you're stuck in a stacked conference, facing most of the best players currently in the game, with one of your better supporting cast members being a curly-haired white boy with a Grateful Dead tattoo and a possible STD from being within 100 feet of Britney Spears.

It's too bad, but there are some things that even a $4 million diamond can't fix.