Full Circle Seizure

I fancy myself a fairly informed TV watcher. I am in tune with some of the best programs, features, and hidden channels in my ridiculously overpriced cable system.

But I had yet to discover the monstrosity that is ESPN Full Circle, that is until I stumbled upon it Tuesday night.

It happened when I accidentally started watching the Women's NCAA Championship game. I say accidentally because I had passed out on the couch in a bout of sickness and an intentional overdose of NyQuil. When I awoke a couple hours later, the poker I had been using to help myself fall asleep on ESPN2 had turned into ESPN Full Circle coverage of the Women's Basketball Championship game.

Now, I don't hate women's sports. I've watched enough of my sister's soccer games and attended enough women's sporting events to have a certain appreciation for them; especially considering I live in the fattest state in the USA...so girls getting out and moving around is certainly not a bad thing.

But as far as my TV watching goes, women's sports is not included in the equation. So you can imagine my dismay when I saw it on the TV when I awoke. At first, I thought it was an NyQuil-induced hallucination. Then I realized it was ESPN Full Circle.

As I said on my Terp's Take today, this has to be the most ridiculous thing ever. There is no possible way that anyone needs this much information pumped at them at once. There's a camera on the field, a slot running replays, two cameras on the coaches, one on the stands, and one on the drunk guy at the beer stand. Yeah, all those things alone are fine; but when they're presented to me all at once, I got so overloaded that I thought I was going to have a seizure.

I see only one way that this thing can become useful. ERIN ANDREWS CAM!!!! I mean, can you see it? Constant observation on Erin Andrews and her ...skillfull...reporting. Who gives a crap about Pat Summit yelling at her players, I want to see Erin softly tossing her hair and coming up with softball questions to lob to Pat at halftime. THOSE ARE THE REAL STORIES THAT NEED TO BE TOLD!!!

I may still be hopped up on NyQuil, but I think this could work. Otherwise can the whole thing. Or hand the keys over to Jack Bauer; he can use the Full Circle coverage of women's sports to torture terrorists.